How to Rewrite our life for a happier ending

Are you unconsciously writing an unhappy plot and ending for your life?

Eve Ash and Rob Gerrand in Rewrite Your Relationships!, have reinforced to me the power our self-talk has over the trajectory of our lives.

They suggest that we think of our internal voice as scripts or the words that we tell ourselves that represent our entrenched values and beliefs and in turn underpin our behaviour, making it easier or more difficult for us to function in every area of our lives.

They point out that we all tend to have a tendency to dwell on the negative more than the positive.

It appears that this may have come about because in the past it was an evolutionary advantage - keeping as a bit more cautious and safe from the many dangers of the harsh environments in which our ancestors lived. Given that the majority of us no longer live with wild hungry animals around each bend of the path we walk and it may have been the more worrisome who actually survived and propagated, we are now left with a population which has turned this negativity bias into an invisible monster which keeps us from enjoying the relative safety and freedom the majority of people are blessed with at this time in history.

Ash and Gerrand remind us that some scripts will motivate and energise us, making us feel good about ourselves and our lives, while some can keep us stuck through procrastination and other forms of self-sabotage.

Negative scripts often related to our self-image - eg "I'm not good enough"  "I'm a failure"

Ash and Gerrand talk about the positive and negative "Lands of W"

The negative W lands include:

  • Wishing - as opposed to taking practical steps
  • Wallowing - with self-pity scripts
  • Wasting time - escaping by doing things which are unproductive and possibly even counterproductive, eg engaging in soft addictions such as cigarettes, alcohol, binge eating.

Positive W lands include:

  • Wanting to achieve- having clear goals and focusing on what you want
  • Willing to learn - open to learning new things and being receptive to constructive feedback
  • Working hard - not being a workaholic, rather perseverance, keeping commitments and not giving up

Which script land do you choose to live in when creating your life?

 

 

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